Sara
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Happy 100th post, you guys.
Sometimes I forget where I am and where I'm going, and there's just a lurching in my stomach to remind me of the fact that this is /not/ the end, this is /not/ where I'm destined to be my entire life. It always meant so much to me to be able to look forward to something at the end of the day, to have a plan of the rest of my life. For a while, when I was younger I looked down on those who confessed to have a lack of life plan. I thought they were inferior. Better to have a half-thought out plan, to latch onto any idea for the future, than to admit defeat and let the world go on.
Then one day I realized that no one really knows for sure where he or she is going. I guess we're all so affected by so many factors, making dead-set plans doesn't necessarily guarantee success. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try, steer our lives in certain directions, but... I think I learned to let go a little bit.
Maybe that realization came a little later in life than I intended. Maybe it's a little relieving to be able to release the control I always thought was so sought after. And maybe I'm learning to do that in more ways than just one, now.
My thoughts are drifting. That's just... in my head right now. Not the normal beginning-middle-end my entries normally tend toward.
Sara
Then one day I realized that no one really knows for sure where he or she is going. I guess we're all so affected by so many factors, making dead-set plans doesn't necessarily guarantee success. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try, steer our lives in certain directions, but... I think I learned to let go a little bit.
Maybe that realization came a little later in life than I intended. Maybe it's a little relieving to be able to release the control I always thought was so sought after. And maybe I'm learning to do that in more ways than just one, now.
My thoughts are drifting. That's just... in my head right now. Not the normal beginning-middle-end my entries normally tend toward.
Sara
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Once Upon A Time I Decided To Make A Coloring Book
 |
| These walls need graffiti. Make them beautiful. |
 |
| What is happening on the other side of the windows? |
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| Who is standing in front of the Luckenbach post office? |
Sara
Thursday, December 23, 2010
How to Spread Holiday Cheer
Having trouble formulating the proper response to your musty aunt's disturbingly moth-eaten gift? Trying hard to remain placid in the face of terrors involving reciprocation of love and warmth? Try this!
(Insert cheesy card here) Dear ______,
Thank you for the ______. It is so remarkable/interesting/original/surprising (circle one)! Happy Holidays.
Love/from/sincerely (circle one), ______.
Have fun during this holiday season and try hard not to be crushed in the writhing masses that swarm those shrines to consumerism called "malls".
Lots of love,
Sara
(Insert cheesy card here) Dear ______,
Thank you for the ______. It is so remarkable/interesting/original/surprising (circle one)! Happy Holidays.
Love/from/sincerely (circle one), ______.
Have fun during this holiday season and try hard not to be crushed in the writhing masses that swarm those shrines to consumerism called "malls".
Lots of love,
Sara
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
More Words
“Untitled”
Sara Balabanlilar
Just. Take. A. Bite.
She says, leaning over you.
Apple in small, calloused hand.
You don’t know how to react, and words,
Normally lush and multitudinous in your everyday life,
Remain tumbling in your sensitized brain.
Your heart beats faster and she pushes toward you.
Her pink lips mouth the words, twitching with the beginnings of a mischievous grin.
Come on. She nears the apple to your lips.
The aroma finds its way to you and insinuates itself into your nostrils,
The heady scent taking over.
Breathe. Breath. Mouth. Open.
It happens before you realize it.
Your lips aren’t used to what this fruit has to offer,
But there is so much time to learn.
And you find, draped in her warmth and the spicy sweet odor,
That you could so easily lose yourself in it
Time and time again.
I submitted this to Steward House's weekly contest this past week, and it got second place. Yay! :)
And now... now it's time for winter break. Lots of words in the coming days, I hope.
Sara
Sara Balabanlilar
Just. Take. A. Bite.
She says, leaning over you.
Apple in small, calloused hand.
You don’t know how to react, and words,
Normally lush and multitudinous in your everyday life,
Remain tumbling in your sensitized brain.
Your heart beats faster and she pushes toward you.
Her pink lips mouth the words, twitching with the beginnings of a mischievous grin.
Come on. She nears the apple to your lips.
The aroma finds its way to you and insinuates itself into your nostrils,
The heady scent taking over.
Breathe. Breath. Mouth. Open.
It happens before you realize it.
Your lips aren’t used to what this fruit has to offer,
But there is so much time to learn.
And you find, draped in her warmth and the spicy sweet odor,
That you could so easily lose yourself in it
Time and time again.
I submitted this to Steward House's weekly contest this past week, and it got second place. Yay! :)
And now... now it's time for winter break. Lots of words in the coming days, I hope.
Sara
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Picture of the Day
Some days are like the ocean. We sit. We cry salty tears that slip into the crevices of our mouths and make us remember the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. We rock back and forth and it’s not because we’ve gone crazy, it’s because we’re in a rowboat out to sea. We sing old sailor songs and eat grapefruit candy because you once heard that citrus prevents scurvy and I couldn’t find any limes. We slip together and become one with the water, the night sky above singing us to sleep with its plethora of stars.
I had a dream that all my thoughts and fears and hot wheels were mashed haphazardly into quesadillas. I tried showing you them all. But it was hard to detangle the metal from the melted cheese.
Sara
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Taboo or realistic? Sex Ed in America
The accepted age for sex gets younger and younger as we are bombarded with a constant sexuality in the media. Now, it’s not sexuality in general that I mind – I definitely believe in being open about that kind of subject. However, it’s the paradoxical portrayal of sexuality, particularly teen sexuality, as something both taboo and commonplace, that bothers me most.
Every day in magazines, TV shows and movies we are shown examples of the hyper-sexualized beings we could be. Pop figures like Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton flash before our eyes in all of their exposed sexuality and promiscuity and we’re constantly reminded that these are our peers, these are our role models. This “ideal teen” is only made more alluring and mysterious by the other voice in our society – the mantra to wait until marriage, to not have sex as a teenager, to realize we’re not ready, to think of the consequences. How are we supposed to stand when these conflicting teen personas are both labeled as the norm?
It’s definitely truth that kids are often having sex far too young, before they’re ready to deal with the possible consequences. 13 years of age does not make someone an adult, and to assume that it does is a big mistake. This does NOT mean, however, that we as a society can put off dealing with proper sexual education until the age at which we believe young men and women are “ready.” No matter what the law, people will always be breaking it. No matter when parents tell their kids they shouldn’t be having sex, those same kids will be.
So what’s the deal with shoving proper information and representations of sexuality under the table in attempts to create moral men and women?
Sex ed needs to start early, and be comprehensive. The fact that we’re educating 12-year-olds about sex does not mean we’re condoning the activity among that age group, it means we’re admitting to the fact that sexuality is out there in our society, and needs to be addressed. We’re admitting to the fact that one day these kids will be having sex, and when they do, they need to be able to make informed decisions about it. As with any other topic, last-minute education is almost as bad as no education at all.
Beyond just warning kids to be careful of STDs and wear condoms, something the schools can’t even provide, we need to break out of the hetero-normative health education tradition we have. In my health class sophomore year, I was told to be safe and protect myself against any possible consequences by waiting until marriage to have sex.
Hold on.
Sorry to break it to everyone here, but I can only legally get married in five states, my own not being one of them. Of course unwanted pregnancy isn’t an issue in my case, but there’s still the very large risk of STDs and damage to emotional and mental health. In my efforts to inform myself about the most basic precautions regarding my sexuality as I entered young adulthood, I was driven to the internet as my only source of information. And thank goodness for sources like gURL.com, providing unbiased and propaganda-less information about all health risks, no matter the sexes involved. But there was a lot of trash to weed through as well, and I can assure you that not all teens would take the time (hours, in fact) on search engines to make sure they were being safe. Parents, obviously, can’t be relied on to provide the proper information.
That’s where the public education is supposed to step in, and isn’t. In efforts to eradicate the idea that they’d be, by educating us about it, supporting homosexuality and pre-marital sex (both grave sins indeed, I’m sure), they ignore the details altogether. Instead, they’re taking the blithe and easy way out by assuring us all happily that we’ll avoid most issues by waiting until we’re married and have a house, car, and health insurance to have sex – while on that same resource from which I gained information about my own health, the beloved internet, pictures circulate of the latest sex tape or teen love affair.
Please, America, can we have some balance?
Sara
Every day in magazines, TV shows and movies we are shown examples of the hyper-sexualized beings we could be. Pop figures like Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton flash before our eyes in all of their exposed sexuality and promiscuity and we’re constantly reminded that these are our peers, these are our role models. This “ideal teen” is only made more alluring and mysterious by the other voice in our society – the mantra to wait until marriage, to not have sex as a teenager, to realize we’re not ready, to think of the consequences. How are we supposed to stand when these conflicting teen personas are both labeled as the norm?
It’s definitely truth that kids are often having sex far too young, before they’re ready to deal with the possible consequences. 13 years of age does not make someone an adult, and to assume that it does is a big mistake. This does NOT mean, however, that we as a society can put off dealing with proper sexual education until the age at which we believe young men and women are “ready.” No matter what the law, people will always be breaking it. No matter when parents tell their kids they shouldn’t be having sex, those same kids will be.
So what’s the deal with shoving proper information and representations of sexuality under the table in attempts to create moral men and women?
Sex ed needs to start early, and be comprehensive. The fact that we’re educating 12-year-olds about sex does not mean we’re condoning the activity among that age group, it means we’re admitting to the fact that sexuality is out there in our society, and needs to be addressed. We’re admitting to the fact that one day these kids will be having sex, and when they do, they need to be able to make informed decisions about it. As with any other topic, last-minute education is almost as bad as no education at all.
Beyond just warning kids to be careful of STDs and wear condoms, something the schools can’t even provide, we need to break out of the hetero-normative health education tradition we have. In my health class sophomore year, I was told to be safe and protect myself against any possible consequences by waiting until marriage to have sex.
Hold on.
Sorry to break it to everyone here, but I can only legally get married in five states, my own not being one of them. Of course unwanted pregnancy isn’t an issue in my case, but there’s still the very large risk of STDs and damage to emotional and mental health. In my efforts to inform myself about the most basic precautions regarding my sexuality as I entered young adulthood, I was driven to the internet as my only source of information. And thank goodness for sources like gURL.com, providing unbiased and propaganda-less information about all health risks, no matter the sexes involved. But there was a lot of trash to weed through as well, and I can assure you that not all teens would take the time (hours, in fact) on search engines to make sure they were being safe. Parents, obviously, can’t be relied on to provide the proper information.
That’s where the public education is supposed to step in, and isn’t. In efforts to eradicate the idea that they’d be, by educating us about it, supporting homosexuality and pre-marital sex (both grave sins indeed, I’m sure), they ignore the details altogether. Instead, they’re taking the blithe and easy way out by assuring us all happily that we’ll avoid most issues by waiting until we’re married and have a house, car, and health insurance to have sex – while on that same resource from which I gained information about my own health, the beloved internet, pictures circulate of the latest sex tape or teen love affair.
Please, America, can we have some balance?
Sara
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