Taboo or realistic? Sex Ed in America

The accepted age for sex gets younger and younger as we are bombarded with a constant sexuality in the media. Now, it’s not sexuality in general that I mind – I definitely believe in being open about that kind of subject. However, it’s the paradoxical portrayal of sexuality, particularly teen sexuality, as something both taboo and commonplace, that bothers me most.

Every day in magazines, TV shows and movies we are shown examples of the hyper-sexualized beings we could be. Pop figures like Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton flash before our eyes in all of their exposed sexuality and promiscuity and we’re constantly reminded that these are our peers, these are our role models. This “ideal teen” is only made more alluring and mysterious by the other voice in our society – the mantra to wait until marriage, to not have sex as a teenager, to realize we’re not ready, to think of the consequences. How are we supposed to stand when these conflicting teen personas are both labeled as the norm?

It’s definitely truth that kids are often having sex far too young, before they’re ready to deal with the possible consequences. 13 years of age does not make someone an adult, and to assume that it does is a big mistake. This does NOT mean, however, that we as a society can put off dealing with proper sexual education until the age at which we believe young men and women are “ready.” No matter what the law, people will always be breaking it. No matter when parents tell their kids they shouldn’t be having sex, those same kids will be.

So what’s the deal with shoving proper information and representations of sexuality under the table in attempts to create moral men and women?

Sex ed needs to start early, and be comprehensive. The fact that we’re educating 12-year-olds about sex does not mean we’re condoning the activity among that age group, it means we’re admitting to the fact that sexuality is out there in our society, and needs to be addressed. We’re admitting to the fact that one day these kids will be having sex, and when they do, they need to be able to make informed decisions about it. As with any other topic, last-minute education is almost as bad as no education at all.

Beyond just warning kids to be careful of STDs and wear condoms, something the schools can’t even provide, we need to break out of the hetero-normative health education tradition we have. In my health class sophomore year, I was told to be safe and protect myself against any possible consequences by waiting until marriage to have sex.

Hold on.

Sorry to break it to everyone here, but I can only legally get married in five states, my own not being one of them. Of course unwanted pregnancy isn’t an issue in my case, but there’s still the very large risk of STDs and damage to emotional and mental health. In my efforts to inform myself about the most basic precautions regarding my sexuality as I entered young adulthood, I was driven to the internet as my only source of information. And thank goodness for sources like gURL.com, providing unbiased and propaganda-less information about all health risks, no matter the sexes involved. But there was a lot of trash to weed through as well, and I can assure you that not all teens would take the time (hours, in fact) on search engines to make sure they were being safe. Parents, obviously, can’t be relied on to provide the proper information.

That’s where the public education is supposed to step in, and isn’t. In efforts to eradicate the idea that they’d be, by educating us about it, supporting homosexuality and pre-marital sex (both grave sins indeed, I’m sure), they ignore the details altogether. Instead, they’re taking the blithe and easy way out by assuring us all happily that we’ll avoid most issues by waiting until we’re married and have a house, car, and health insurance to have sex – while on that same resource from which I gained information about my own health, the beloved internet, pictures circulate of the latest sex tape or teen love affair.

Please, America, can we have some balance?

Sara