Happy 100th post, you guys.

Sometimes I forget where I am and where I'm going, and there's just a lurching in my stomach to remind me of the fact that this is /not/ the end, this is /not/ where I'm destined to be my entire life. It always meant so much to me to be able to look forward to something at the end of the day, to have a plan of the rest of my life. For a while, when I was younger I looked down on those who confessed to have a lack of life plan. I thought they were inferior. Better to have a half-thought out plan, to latch onto any idea for the future, than to admit defeat and let the world go on.

Then one day I realized that no one really knows for sure where he or she is going. I guess we're all so affected by so many factors, making dead-set plans doesn't necessarily guarantee success. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try, steer our lives in certain directions, but... I think I learned to let go a little bit.

Maybe that realization came a little later in life than I intended. Maybe it's a little relieving to be able to release the control I always thought was so sought after. And maybe I'm learning to do that in more ways than just one, now.

My thoughts are drifting. That's just... in my head right now. Not the normal beginning-middle-end my entries normally tend toward.

Sara